The journey

‘on his solitary journey, the protagonist seeks to alleviate his acute loneliness and creates «you» so that he will have someone to talk to. The «you», who is a reflection of «I», naturally experiences the same loneliness and creates «she» for companionship. The lengthy journey draws the «you» and the «I» too closely together and reduces the analytical distance sought by the author, so he allows «you» to walk away, and the back of «you» walking away becomes «he»…and there are yet further changes’…la montagne de l’ame

What I know about you

It is clear that, there are many things that I don’t know about you. But here comes what I do know about you:

You are amazing. Not as the way you think of even people thinks about the amazingness itself, there is something inside you that touch my soul and lovely tatoo something there.

You smell sweet. your skin is so soft and your body so tiny and fragile that I feel I’m having some kind of treasure in my hands. I still can feel my nose driving slowly trough your arm skin when we were laying on my bed looking for a sweet kiss.

You are strange. You said too many things to me, and I’m not sure why you said all those things, and I’m not saying this in a bad way but, it quite doesn’t make any sense once you deeply analizes

You use me. You came into me, you took as much as you could, you learned about your power, and I learned about mine. Try not to misunderstand what I’m saying here, we can always be friends, but the truth is I feel my arms empty and not because of you left, but because my body is weak caused by the energy that is missing in my body.

You left.

That’s all I know about you.

And after all I don’t have the guts to send you F*** **F

Your call

22-jun-09


First we had a fight
then we were fine.
We were alright, 
having a little fun but lots of hot hugges and kisses.
By that time i was worried about the money, but also concerned about the love i feel every second of my life in my heart.
Thing got rough
for a moment i could not get what was going on.
One second we were holding hands,
the next one i was soaked in tears that were killing me from the madness
and the sorrow of watching them taking you away from me.
I dont know whats happening next,
for now, i can just apologize
and wait for your call…

Laugh of life

Worse than believe in a cure,
is the hope of relief in the future,
what hurts your heart today,
is only inside yourself.

Loneliness, Restless, Hapinness, Voidness,
What is inside us?
I feel inside myself, I’m full of you.

I see into your eyes, I’m so in you,
While everyting else remains the same,
so grey, so slow, so tempting…

Magically faded by your soft skin,
when the world looks stunningly indifferent,
Sometimes it seems like everyone know your name.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t there.

When will you return?
Don’t tell me,
I’d better wait,
It’s worth it.

Some notes

¿Cuán frágil eres frente a mi mirada?
es verdad que, ¿Tienes que preguntar, aún viéndome a los ojos?

Lo importante de que nada tenga sentido es que puede cobrar cualquier sentido.

Si las decisiones éticas son justificaciones de nuestras emociones, existe la ética verdaderamente?

Quiero terminar el libro de Outliers hoy

HISTORIA: Assasins from Union Square
Derek was drinking his beer as every monday morning. -When will be the last time I will have to kill somebody?- Derek was thinking looking at the waitress butt. -Would you like something else, Bob?- The old lady asked from the other side of the bar. Derek didn’t answer but his thoughts keep going forward:

(Inside Derek’s «Bob» head)

I wish my mother were here.
Dispair,
Sense of killer.
Blood sparkles over my new shoes.
-Johny, la gente está muy loca- (drinking champagne with some strippers)

Where does all the guitar sounds went?
That woman was looking at me at same moment I was killing her husband.
I didn’t see her face but I know she was looking at me,
She was crying, hating me, i could feel all the hate,
but as soon as I pull the trigger, her hate disappear.

She was only sad,
She stopped looking at me,
she went with whom she had always love.

Sadly she didn’t knew until he was dead.

Who isn’t a killer anyway?
Why no one judge her for driving her entirely family through death?
Why is she so called victim?

I miss Antonia.
My little sister, Wherever she is.

-May I have another beer ma’m?- Derek said to the old lady with his hopeless voice, barely looking to somewhere.

Loneliness will be better if you weren’t here,
nothing else is inside me after my last 5 years doing this.
I wish I could stop, I wish I hadn’t start.

Let’s be frank,
This is just what I always wanted,
thats why I’m here.

Derek standed up from the dirty chair on the bar of the small breakfast restaurant, drank his beer in one long shot, cleaned up his mouth, put his hat on and went out smoothly faster.

To be social

I can tell just what you want,
You dont want to be alone.

I can say its what you know,
What you know it the whole time…

Speaking words of wisdom.

You know we are gonna find you,
You think we are gonna miss you.

From the mainstream,
to the basement,

Outliers,
insiders,
others,
us.

Droping tears of dispair,
The flying dream has come to an end…
I miss when I didn’t know.

Romantic,
Melancholic,
Too honest to be social,
to charm to be sexy.

Where does all the bees gone?

The pepper of my life

You are in my head all day,
all night.

When I wake up,
when I try to sleep,
Always thinking on what you do,
and how you do it.

You look too sweet and candy,
on my dreams,
you are the godess,
of my imagination.

As Jefferson Airplane said:
Don’t you want somebody to love?

You better find somebody to love.

Thank you for being,
poetry to my life again.

Short shots of soft pain SSSP

I know you are out there…
Somewhere…
Waiting.

Look at my eyes once,
you will see yourself.

look at my eyes twice,
you will only see myself,
inside you.

Bad,
Wrong,
Boring,
Stupid.

Again,
I’m sorry,
I apologize…
Believe me,
I’m so sorry,
Again.

I will be here,
imagine you.

You will be there,
Thinking of us,
with him.

Crying for you,
Missing me.

I know you are not perfect,
But I don´t care.

I know you are not here,
But I don’t care.

I know I screwed everything up,
But what to do now?

I know I’ve been having this conversation for a while,
by my own,
so what?

Nothing can’t stop me,
from being this way,
you will miss me.

I bet you already do…
so what?

Does anyone has the courage to change?

If I were an electric storm,
I’ve had ended a long time ago.

All I feel in my hands now,
ashes.