This story was originally written a few days ago after my first time using Ayahuasca.
Today we are under too much energy, people is there feeling all these things and they don’t know how to react.
Time is always perfect
The present may look complicated or «cold» but each season intent is to experience all the feelings and experiences starting from hard awful times.
This is a changing point in history. Now is our time to do something or be like all the ones before us were just looking (just as we are doing right now)
Nothing changes, but ourselves. Inside ourselves is the key to change the world.
The calling (Assendelft 2016) – edited
I want to share my experience taking the Ayahuasca for the first time.
The calling to shamanic life came to me and now the opportunity is trying this medicine, was a perfect opportunity to understand what this calling means.
First I had one glass shot of the medicine, and I started to feel insecure, tired, frustrated, weak, and hungry. No real elements of psychedelia neither visual or mental. Even though it was already clear, the medicine was already taking me in its web of safety.
I took the second glass and adopting the meditation position I started to see with my eyes closed. The bright everything was in the darkness of my closed eyes, was for me, the first sign of the energetical connection between all of us in the group.
From that moment and until later this morning I was completely taken by the medicine and the action I performed were absolutely as an instrument of nature.
I started to move my arms with the flow of the music; the energy was flowing through my body like waves of light.
Then I began to feel other people feelings; I do not remember the line order of events, but I will try to be as relevant as possible.
I first feel the first visuals very similar as in Tepozquite DMT I couldn’t intensely concentrate on them, but I feel this floating feeling separation of the human body step on soul level environment, still cold and silent for me.
All the beautiful feelings about life we can feel all at the same time, making my tears cried as if I were the happiest human being the world, which in fact I am sure for a moment we all were.
I realized how much I love me; holding my legs and kissing my knees and providing me physically the tender love I wanted to feel like a human being. Then I started to realize how much love I have for mother nature and our ancestors. Between the 3rd and the 4th glass.
I started to cry in the ground and began to repeat the word: Dad, Papa, gracias I said, While I cry with all my heart, like if I have never said this to my dad before.
I wanted to take a flight and hug him and kiss him (I felt taking several planes across the world to hug, kiss and tell them that I love them unconditionally) looking into his eyes and embrace this love bond that lasts forever.
Here was when I understood my shamanic calling came from my father’s ancestors. For a moment I saw all his words and all the knowledge that he had given to me, the medicine was only using his words.
I understand my grandmother were also an emotional channel for his family.
I know that I was crying someone else’s tears, and feelings but that connection allowed me to get the answer I was asking.
For a moment when she stands next to me, and I started to feel pain in my stomach, I saw a ball inside the belly. I saw its light; I felt the pain, and I saw women feeling the pain of losing a child, and the pain in carrying the seed of life inside themselves.
I moved my hands around it, and I am pretty sure I was moaning until, with my hands, I dissolve the stomach pain, and she left. After that, I vomit for the first time.
I saw our guide next to me and It made feel very protected Although the medicine has been gentle to me this time.
I saw my powers. I recognized myself and observed myself from outside. With all the tender lover that mother ayahuasca drive us around the past, and I saw the love and admiration in the faces on my loved ones, I understand this bond is real and thanks to my enthusiasm of a kid, that I am still a kid.
I am a young soul.
My soul is in this stage of life, so its healing others to heal itself. I have this ability of unselfish desire of commit to the well-being of every single being.
When I started to here and felt the pain, the pain of humanity, the pain of the earth, the deep suffering that is inside ourselves is very disturbing. But, I know my energy and love is my tool to seat there and be there for the other, that we can handle this for other to see and feel what is going to teach them a better feeling of life.
I accepted myself as I am, and understand It is ok to be human, to have human emotions and desires.
That this is the experience of life and death is the door to another type eternity.
I felt how much I love so many people, I saw their love and I could feel them connected to me and my emotions. The unconditional love I feel for them and the importance of hug them and tell them. I know It will be medicine for them as well.
I see all the beautiful possibilities in my life and how nice to live with absolutely nothing.
I discover how much I love to dance; I felt how energy comes out of my body when I am dancing and why people reacts the way they do when I dance around them.
I danced, I crawled, I walked and seat and moan around the place, always trying to help and be with someone who can use some of my love.
I intensely suffer from the people’s pain, and I could feel the spirits for the first time. They were all passing in and out of our human bodies. They were making us feel different emotions, we all were there sitting still for each other, doing our best to let that experience to heal, There was always the protection of our guide and a very protective environment where all these feelings were rolling around the universe.
I see there is a lot of things that comes with this decision and that accept this path attempt to change my life, for the good of the other, and my entire will, and be there for the other.
I saw the spirituality in Christianity. Even, when I have no religion, I understood, their sacred connection with spirituality and the feelings that can make people feel, I am sure there were significant breakthroughs out of the Jesus Crist life.
I see the energy that I can make balls of it and send to the world.
I gave my life to the medicine and its spirit, to be used as a tool for the healing of the world.
I accept myself as I am, and I am ready to keep my actions according to my present life.
I was playful and happy most of the time while in the medicine; sometimes our guide calls me to calm down.
I shared experiences, conversations, and silence with my brothers and sister and stay there in circles of emotions.
I may keep opening details, but we are going to watch a movie now.